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Joey’s Only Seafood Restaurant

Why should you eat at Joey’s Only?

Lobster is the most romantic restaurant food, reported a food service study on Valentines Day. No wonder. It’s the luscious, decadently rich flavor of the meat. The need to use your lips and fingers to coax out the last morsels playing hide-and-seek. Lobster is a visceral experience that excites all the senses.

So it’s a shame to discover most eateries in LVNV overcook their lobsters. These regal creatures arrive in impossibly sad shape. Who wants to eat a rubbery, tasteless, endlessly chewy crustacean?

It’s not surprising that the best whole lobster can be found at the Palm. That baby is perfect. But most folks would gag on the $75 price tag. How about a lobster prepared just as expertly for just $19.99? Sail over to Joey’s Only Seafood Restaurant for a reel deal.

Who Should Eat at Joey’s Only?

  • Lobster lovers. At any price, Joey’s whole live Maine lobsters are THE best in town. Only two other LVNV eateries match Joey’s quality: The Palm and Captain Mike’s Seafood.
  • Lobster lovers on a budget. Most restaurants don’t even publish their lobster prices because the stark reality makes diners swoon. At Joey’s, your $20 purchases a 1.25 pound salmon-colored sweetie AND a side of cole slaw and your choice of potato.
  • Sea fare on a budget. You don’t like prying, so lobster’s too much work for you. How about all-you-can-eat fish and chips for $6.99 all day Tuesday? Maybe you’d rather eat crab legs ‘till you can’t for just $19.99 Mondays. And, you can double the size of an appetizer order for just $1.99. Your cardiologist won’t like this, but Joey’s offers all-you-can-eat French fries. I warned you they were addictive.
  • The brunch bunch. Joey’s serves an eclectic brunch, not centered around seafood. $1 will buy a glass of champagne or a mimosa.
  • Neighborhood haunt hunters. Tired of chain restaurants and casino dining? Miss that cozy neighborhood feel? You’ll be trapped in déjà vu at Joey’s. It looks like those Mom and Pop joints out at the lake. Nothing fancy, just great food.
  • Cooked to order crusaders. Every hot item is cooked to order. The fish is hot and fresh. My lobster was so hot when it made its dramatic appearance I needed oven mitts.
  • Takeout types. Joey’s has takeout specials serving star chef quality food at KFC prices. Great after a ball game at Desert Breeze Park.
  • Families. You don’t even have to convince the Kinder to eat fish. Joey’s has chocolate milk and “dino buddies,” chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs. You do have to make ‘em behave, though.

Who shouldn’t eat at Joey’s?

  • Landlubbers. A six ounce rib eye, chicken breast teriyaki style or Cajun chicken strips are your only choices. Steakhouses have more options for vegans than Joey’s does for carnivores.
  • The fress to impress crowd. There’s nothing fancy about this restaurant. I find its bright blue walls and stamped concrete floors charming. But it’s light years away from the bar at the Four Seasons.
  • Hendersonians. Both restaurants are a long haul from the deep southeast, although the Durango outpost is a straight shot down the 215.

Ok, so what’s the food like: You already know how I feel about Joey’s Maine lobster. This compelling denizen of the deep arrives whole on a plate, decorated with just a little parsley. I want to paint my dining room that intense salmon color.

Although the restaurant put some gouges in just the right spots, this is really a do-it-yourself battle. The good ones do fight back. I have never had lobster claws as sweet – and a tail as firm as well, J. Lo’s. There was plenty of drawn butter to make the rich meat even richer.

The clam strips arrived steaming; I considered canceling my next facial. A thick, seasoned batter, fried to potato chip crispness, literally entombed the clams. Like a pie, the filling was still juicy. A great appetizer.

The best part about the clam strips was the cocktail sauce. This salsa-style sauce was spiked with fresh horseradish. Call the fire department. I felt the heat deep into my nasal passages.

You’d think with such low down prices Joey’s fried fish would wrap a tasty crust around low down bottom feeders. Nay. Nay. Joey’s uses pollack. My marine creature was so large the front and back ends spilled over the side of the plate. It was coated in a much lighter, more feminine crust. The fillet inside was just like the lobster: perfect. The flesh was pearly and translucent; the flavor just a bit briny. No wonder locals can’t stop eatin’ ‘em.

I was hooked on the sides. The cole slaw wasn’t swimming in yucky mayonnaise. This one had a nice shot of vinegar for some extra pep. The rice pilaf was as snowy as the frost atop Mt. Charleston. The fluffy stuff was dotted with fresh peas and carrots.

Dessert in the desert: The only homemade dessert is the mud pie piled mile high with mocha almond fudge ice cream. One’s enough for the table, especially if you’ve wrestled with a whole lobster. The best part is the thick chocolate cookie crust. It’s as chewy as a great brownie. The mocha almond fudge ice cream is studded with full sized nuts which add crunch and a hint of salt. Mine was drowning in chocolate syrup; a little dab would do ya.

History: Joey’s Only started in Calgary, Canada in 1985. Today Joey’s is the largest seafood chain in Canada.

The last word: Never assume just because a restaurant has precipitous prices and lots of star power that its kitchen can produce the penultimate. Joey’s Only Seafood Restaurant, with its lowly prices and low brow atmosphere, steams the finest lobster in shellfish-crazed city. It’s also a whiz kid with meaty mollusks and fried Pollack. And the prices? They’re less than the required tip at some of the snooty fresh to impress sea emporiums. If you live north or southwest, you’re the lucky ones.

Where is it? There are two locations: 7450 W. Cheyenne Avenue at Buffalo. The phone is 702.395.4313. There’s also a Joey’s across from Desert Breeze Park at 3455 S. Durango at Spring Mountain. The phone there is 702.242.2888.

Orange Line

Most days, I eschew eating crab legs and whole lobsters because those hard shelled crustaceans put up too much of a fight and that gets me steamed. I enjoy my whole lobsters at the Red Lobster, because the wait staff performs the shellfish surgery for me.

Alas, alack, allay. No one at Joey’s Only Seafood Restaurant offered to perform that messy mission for me. That made me unhappy, since Joey’s serves THE best lobsters in town. And, if I’m going to do the dirty job myself, I need the proper tools. Where’s my bib? My dry cleaning bill almost matched the price of that delicious lobster. I also could have used a meat cleaver. Without it, the score was: claws 3, Curmudgeon one.

Being an unskilled cracker, I sent lobster shells flying everywhere. The shocked stares of the diners in firing range actually made the frustrating task of crushing the claws a lot more fun.

And hey, lobster is romantic! You can afford to be romantic at Joey’s. This restaurant lets you enjoy the best lobster in town without making an additional car payment.

Here’s a word of advice to you lovers: eat late. In the early evenings, Joey’s is packing with screaming, misbehaving youngsters. I know it’s not the restaurant’s fault that its patrons don’t know how to discipline their kids, but gosh, it’s sure irritating for us adults savoring a fine repast. Your meal will taste better when the rug rats are in bed.

Oysters are reputedly a great aphrodisiac. The only disappointing item I encountered at Joey’s was the fried oysters. They had dried to dust inside the heavy batter. I wonder if overcooking degrades their erotic power. I hope not!

Speaking of romance, it’s great to linger over a meal out-of-doors on these beautiful moonlit nights. Joey’s on Durango has plenty of patio seating. However, the tables look straight into another retail store, not an alluring vista. I suggest talking to the merchant halfway down the row to see if you can move your tables there. His storefront has a perfect view of the Strip glittering across Desert Breeze Park. Now that’s alfresco dining!

Aired 23 May 2003

Orange Line

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